space cretins rock!

"We're superfreaks on angeldust"

Hailing from the aptly named "Jet City" Seattle, WA, the Space Cretins bring a heavy dose of super-cyber punk'rock'n'roll with a neon kick for the good times, with a sound that owes as much to Kiss, the Misfits, and the Ramones as it does to the original Space Commanders Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders From Mars. A sound that takes the energy of punk, the snottiness of glam, and the groove of 80's L.A. sleaze rock, which when combined gives you... spaced out, mega-freakin', high-octane, righteous rock, baby, yeah!!!

According to the Space Cretins charter, there are four requirements to becoming a band member: 1) must be attractive to the ladies 2) must love big,dumb Rock 3)must be a great performer 4) must be attractive to the ladies... The Space Cretins members include veterans of the Seattle punk/grunge wars -- Paul Ace Diamond Blow (guitar, vocals: ex-Suffocated, Berserkers, and Ace Diamond Bimbos); Markass Starkiss Karkass (Bass: ex-Berserkers, Pissdrunks, Undisputed Heavyweights); Danger Dayne Bam Bam (drums: ex-Ace Diamond Bimbos, Northwest Breeders); and Otis P. Otis (Guitar: ex-Willard, F-holes)

Sick and tired of the negativity and depressing nature of the bi-polar Seattle music scene, and inspired by a chance encounter with William Shatner in a Hong Kong kareoke bar (in which Shatner convinced Blow to start a "super-cyber" rock band) Paul Diamond Blow hooked up with his former band-mates Danger Dayne and Markass Karkass to put the fun back in today's Rock. The Space Cretins aren't trying to stimulate brain cells or impress with fancified riffage, no, just putting the party, attitude and swagger (and good songs!) back into the rock'n'roll leather pants. "It's a spiritual thing," says Blow. "But we're much more than just another 3-chord rock band. We're a 3-chord band with a Plan..."

Space Cretins... the choice of a far-out generation. Hop aboard for the ride...

SPACE CRETINS band members:
Paul Diamond Blow: star guitar, rocket vocals
Otis P. Otis: master blaster guitar
Markass Karkass: four-string jet machine
Danger Dayne Bam Bam: sticks and chicks
Danny Heartthrob: rocket guitar (2010-2012)
Scotty Astronaughty: ace bass face (2010-2012)

Current band status: on permanent hiatus (called back to the stars!)


Check out our merchandise page
for SPACE CRETINS CDs, DVDs, teeshirts, and more!

Watch the amazing SPACE CRETINS videos on

View the official SPACE CRETINS press sheet (circa 2006)

View the official SPACE CRETINS bio

Read the crazy SPACE CRETINS promo comic book (PDF, circa 2012)

SPACE CRETINS music now available on:


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established 2004
Cornelius Zephyr - proprietor