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The Top Ten Most Annoying Celebrities of Modern Times
The Ten Most Annoying Celebrities that Need to Go Away

by Paul Diamond Blow

Who are the top ten most ANNOYING celebrities of modern times? On my list here are the ten celebrities that make me cringe, wretch and gag every time they pop up on the TV screen, newspapers, magazines, or worse yet... the internet. These are the celebrities that I really wish would shut up and go away, live quiet lives, and quit annoying the holy heck out of me and my good sensibilities. I think that I speak for America when I say that these truly are the top ten most annoying celebrities of modern times:

10) Gilbert Gottfried
What makes Gilbert Gottfried so annoying is his voice. You've heard it, you know what I'm talking about. His voice is so annoying that insurance company Aflac hired him to be the voice for the Aflac duck, for crying out loud. Yes, I know that Gilbert's irritating voice is part of his act, in fact it is his act, and I will admit that he is quite funny as "the annoying guy with the loud annoying voice"... but can you imagine living with a guy like Gilbert Gottfried???..."HEY, WHERE'S THE TOILET PAPER? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CALL THIS A WEDDING? YOU CALL THIS A WEDDING? BLAH BLAH BLAH..." Urrrggkkkk!

9) Danny Bonaduce
Danny Bonaduce's claim to fame is that he played the part of Danny Partridge on The Partridge Family back in the 1970s. Nowadays he makes his living as resident "former child actor whose life was screwed up by his early fame" on numerous TV shows, and he seems to pop up everywhere making cameos and guest appearances, usually on lame cable TV programs. I'll tell you this much -- I loved the Partridge Family and Danny Partridge was a cute little redhead kid, but Danny Bonaduce is NOT cute anymore and every time he pops up on some lame TV show I vomit a little bit in my mouth. Bonaduce recently relocated to my home town (Seattle) and has his own early morning radio talk show. I've listened to it... he's a dick.

8) Pauly Shore
Urgh... where do I start with Pauly Shore? What is it about him that annoys me so much and makes me cringe every time I see or hear of him? Is it his voice? Is it his curly hair (especially when worn long)? Is it the way he talks like a brain dead surfer ("Hey buddies!")? Is it that as a comedian he is just NOT funny? The answer is: all of the above! How Pauly Shore ever got famous in the first place is a mystery to me, it makes me very concerned about America's sensibilities.

7) Lady Gaga
I'll probably get a lot of flak from all the Lady Gaga fans of the world who think she is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but comon'... I am sick of seeing her photos in the magazines, the newspapers, the internet, etc., etc. As far as I am concerned Lady Gaga is just a slightly better pop artist than than the rest of what's out there, and I really can't say if she is a good singer or not with all the auto tune going on in her vocals making her sound like a robot. What really bothers me about Lady Gaga is her flair for wearing atrocious and ridiculous outfits. She dresses like a freaking clown, and as far as I'm concerned that's what Lady Gaga is: a clown. That is the main reason her photos pop up everywhere and I'm sick of it! The name "Lady Gaga" also annoys the blue blazes out of me. Anyone who calls themselves "Lady" this-or-that is usually a drag queen, lending credence to the rumor that Lady Gaga really is a man or at least a hermaphrodite.

6) Roseanne Barr /Rosie O'Donnell
Roseanne Barr just plain makes me cringe, she always has. It's the combination of her obnoxious voice, her squinty little eyes, and her general slobbish appearance. Plus, for someone who is supposed to be a comedian, she is just plain not funny. I find the woman repulsive, actually, and fortunately you don't hear too much of Roseanne Barr these days. I include Rosie O'Donnell here too because everything I said about Roseanne Barr goes also for Rosie, who is actually the lesbian version of Roseanne Barr!

5) Snooki
(Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi) Let me put this right out there for you: I don't watch much TV and I don't have cable. I really should not even know who Snooki is, except for the fact that she is EVERYWHERE on the internet, usually due to her drunken shenanigans. I understand she "stars" in a reality TV show about Italian guidos and bimbos in New Jersey... that's great, just what we need. In a way Snooki is kind of hot, but on the other hand she's a short and dumpy fugly woman with bad manners. That's just the impression I get from seeing her on the internet. And the name "Snooki"... what's up with that? "Snooki" is the name you give your pet cat or small dog. Please wake me up when Snooki's fifteen minutes are over!

4) Paris Hilton
Yeah, Paris Hilton is a skinny, blonde hottie with rich parents. She parties. She makes internet porn videos. She parties some more. She's rich. She parties. She had her own reality TV show for a brief spell. Did I mention she has rich parents? These are the reasons Paris Hilton is a celebrity and I for one do not give a crapola about her. Yeah, I'd do her if I had the chance, but still, she's just a rich spoiled brat.. There are millions of other hot women on this earth who do much more than party and make internet porn videos, but you never hear about them because they don't have super rich parents. The good news is that when Paris Hilton gets older and loses her looks she will fade away into obscurity... hopefully!

3) Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian is yet another "reality TV star" that I should not even know about since I do not watch television and I have never seen the showKeeping Up With the Kardashians, and yet Kim Kardashian's face is plastered all over the internet and all over magazine covers with lurid headlines about a failed marriage and other shenanigans. Sure, Kim Kardashian is a beautiful woman and all, and I'd do her in a heart beat, but I am SICK and TIRED of seeing her freaking face! Enough already... here's hoping that her 15 minutes of fame will soon wear out and I never hear the name "Kardashian" again.

2) Charlie Sheen
I originally intended to put Charlie Sheen a lot lower on my list since he's been in the news so often in the past year for his problems with drugs, alcohol, prostitutes, and cars, but since he's been making so much noise as of late he has been boosted up in my rankings. Hey now, I love Charlie Sheen as an actor, especially his dead-pan comedic acting in flicks such as Scary Movie 3-4, and I used to think he was a cool guy, but after his recent lunatic rantings and ravings that have been making the news everywhere I have to say I am SICK of Charlie Sheen and his over-saturated, gigantic ego. The man actually believes he has super powers and is superior to the rest of us losers, and if I hear the phrase "Tiger Blood" one more time I am going freak out, invade the nearest Blockbuster video store, and destroy every copy of Platoon.

1) Pee-wee Herman
By far and without a doubt, Pee-wee Herman (real name Paul Reubens) is the most annoying celebrity and/or character of all time. This man just plain gives me the creeps. I mean, just look at him. Everything about Peewee Herman is creepy and annoying, from the way he dresses, his face, his bow tie, his hairstyle, his voice, his cackling laugh... I guess that covers it all. Plus the fact that Pee-wee Herman was arrested in 1991 for masturbating in an adult movie theater seals the deal. I would love to say that the bad publicity from that arrest ruined his career and removed him from the limelight, but Pee-wee Herman has resurrected himself as of late with his own Broadway stage show... GAG!!!!