The wit, wisdom, zen, and philosophy of Paul Diamond Blow.

The Top Five Light Beers (according to Paul Diamond Blow)
Get yer BUZZ on with the best, low calorie, delicious domestic light beers!

by Paul Ace Diamond "Huggy" Blow

Coors Light is the official beer of the Space Cretins

I love cheap, watery beer. I can't drink those fancy yuppie beers that are so thick you could stick a spoon in 'em and it will stand straight up... you know, the beers that contain about 1000 calories a pint and cost six bucks each at the local pub! Fuggedaboutit, they taste horrible to boot! I want, nay, I DEMAND a beer that tastes good, goes down easy, and won't add 20 pounds to my gut... and it's gotta fit into my tight wad budget, as well as deliver a buzz when you need one. Here I will list my top five favorite domestic light beers that I personally drink. I like 'em all, but usually I buy what is on sale each week. Did I mention I'm a tightwad? Without further ado, my top five domestic light beers...

5) Busch Light (95 calories)
To be honest, Busch Light is not that good of a tasting beer and it does have a bitter aftertaste, but it makes it on my list here at number five because good old Busch Light got me through the weekends back in the day when I was a poor man and couldn't afford the better tasting light beers. Back in the day a six-pack of Busch Light tall-boys was only $4.99 at the local Quick Stop. Nowadays you can find it for around $12.99 for an 18-pack of 12 oz cans which is still a bargain. While Busch Light doesn't taste that great, it still blows away all the other low class light beers that are currently on the market. If you have a thin wallet like I used to, this is the light beer for you! Busch Light contains 95 calories per 12. oz serving. While I do not drink Busch Light much anymore, sometimes I like to buy a six-pack just to remind myself of where I came from...

4) Miller 64 (64 calories)
I'm not really a fan of Miller beer -- it usually gives me a headache -- but I am a fan of their ultra light beer, Miller 64. Miller 64 contains only 64 calories in a 12 oz. serving! The only other beer that beats that is Budweiser's Select 55, which contains only 55 calories per 12 oz serving. Select 55, however, tastes more like sink water than beer, and Miller 64 beats it hands down in taste. Miller 64 does not taste as good as the other beers on my list, but in times when I feel the need to lose a couple extra pounds I will buy Miller 64, usually when it goes on sale at the local grocery store for $14.99 for an 18-pack of cans. I mean, comon... it's only 64 calories!

3) Bud Light (110 calories)
Bud Light is simply delicious. It goes down easy, tastes great, is cool and refreshing, and especially tastes good out of the brown bottle. Bud Light is a bit more bubbly, or fizzy than the other light beers on my list. Bud Light is what I order at the bars, although I do alternate it with Coors Light. Bud Light contains 110 calories in a 12 oz serving, which is a little more than I like in a light beer, but the taste and the smoothness put it in my fave list. I buy my Bud Light at the local 7-eleven where it sells for $14.99 for an 18-pack of 12 oz. bottles. Mmmmm, mmmm, good.

2) Coors Light (104 calories)
The Silver Bullet is the answer to my beer-drinking prayers, a gift from the gods of cheap beer. It's clean and crisp tasting (just like pure mountain water), goes down smooth and mellow, and tastes great with a cheap stogie. Coors Light is also the official beer of the SPACE CRETINS (a Seattle punk rock band). Yes, it's what the ROCK STARS drink! Coors Light contains 104 calories per 12 oz. serving, and tastes especially good out of the bottle. I usually buy it at the local grocery stores when it goes on sale at $14.99 for an 18-pack.

1) Michelob Ultra Light (95 calories)
Michelob Ultra Light is hands down my favorite domestic light beer. It is the "champagne" of light beers. It tastes freaking great: light, crisp, clean, and goes down extra smooth with the perfect amount of fizz. Michelob Ultra Light tastes good out of both the bottle or the can, and speaking of the can, the Michelob Ultra Light slim can is super sexy, the coolest looking domestic canned beer that exists in the market at this time. Michelob Ultra Light also beats most of the other beers on my list with only 95 calories per 12 oz. serving. The only reason I don't drink Michelob Ultra Light all the time is because it is also the most expensive light beer on my list at $6.49 for a sixpack of bottles, or $18.99 for an 18-pack of slim cans, and it rarely goes on sale like the other beers do. That's a shame, because I really freaking love this beer, and I usually buy it when I feel like treating myself to something extra special.

There you have it. The top five domestic light beers that will go easy on your gut as well as your wallet. Bottoms up, baby!

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